by Maryann Tobin

Amid the comprehensive chaos that has blanketed the news cycle since the Deepwater Horizon exploded on April 20, 2010, there seems to be a scenario that makes sense, but has not been widely suggested.

What if BP and the U.S. government know exactly what’s going on, but have too much to lose by disclosing it?

The scenario

It is possible that the Deepwater Horizon explosion was not as much of a surprise as BP would have the public think.

The 5,000 foot deep well was a rouge from the beginning, but the benefits of tapping the second largest oil and natural gas deposit in the world was well worth the gamble. The less it cost to get at the virtually bottomless pit of oil, the higher the profit margin. For many businesses, cutting corners with the hope that it will never be noticed is common practice.

Within days of the explosion, BP could have known that with the shortcuts they had taken, capping it fast would be impossible.  So they decided to try to hide the size of the disaster with toxic chemicals, useless remedies, and ignorance about the monster they had unleashed on the world.

The chemical disbursant Corexit 9500, has a way of making oil disappear from the surface, but the brew  is no friend to the environment or human health. In relatively low concentrations (2.61 PPM), it is lethal.

Warm water, as in the Gulf of Mexico in summer, changes the molecular structure of Corexit 9500. It turns it into a gas which is readily absorbed into the atmosphere. The transformed compound returns to earth as toxic oil rain, poisoning everything it touches for an untold number of years.

The public relations and political problems

Would you want to tell the world that you knew from day one that your disregard for public safety and the environment was going to cause damage on such a massive scale that every living thing on the planet would suffer from it in some way or another for the next 200 years?

Would you go on television and admit that because of corruption and greed, livelihoods would be ruined, an ecosystem will be destroyed, millions will die, water supplies will be contaminated, and the incidence of unexplained cancer will increase dramatically?

Would you admit that it could have been prevented if you only had the guts to create, apply and enforce safety regulations, regardless of cost or political popularity?

The reality

The people in America who believe that different politicians in Washington are going to make their lives better, may be in for a rude awakening. The problem is not the people who sit in the chairs; it’s a system that trades favours for money and power.

The truth of the 2010 BP oil spill will never be told as long as those with the power to reveal it, have something to lose by telling it.       

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by Maryann Tobin

When you pour more than a million gallons of toxic chemical dispersants on top of an oil spill, it doesn’t just disappear. In this case, it moves to the atmosphere, where it will travel hundreds, if not thousands of miles from the site of the BP oil spill, in the form of toxic rain.

BP’s oil spill-fighting dispersant of choice is Corexit 9500. It has been banned in Europe for good reason. Corexit 9500 is one of the most environmentally enduring, toxic chemical dispersants ever created to battle an oil spill.  Add to that the millions of gallons of oil that have been burned, releasing even more toxins into the atmosphere, and you have a recipe for something much worse than acid rain.

The European Union Times reports “A dire report prepared for President Medvedev by Russia’s Ministry of Natural Resources is warning today that the British Petroleum (BP) oil and gas leak in the Gulf of Mexico is about to become the worst environmental catastrophe in all of human history threatening the entire eastern half of the North American continent with “total destruction”.

The reports adds, “Russian scientists are basing their apocalyptic destruction assessment due to BP’s use of millions of gallons of the chemical dispersal agent known as Corexit 9500 which is being pumped directly into the leak of this wellhead over a mile under the Gulf of Mexico waters and designed, this report says, to keep hidden from the American public the full, and tragic, extent of this leak that is now estimated to be over 2.9 million gallons a day.”

Oil in the environment is toxic at 11 PPM (parts per million). Corexit 9500 is toxic at only 2.61 PPM. But Corexit 9500 has another precarious characteristic; it’s reaction to warm water.
                            
As the water in the Gulf of Mexico heats up, Corexit 9500 goes through a molecular transition. It changes from a liquid to a gas, which is readily absorbed by clouds and released as toxic rain. The chemical-laden rain then falls on crops, reservoirs, animals and of course, people.

It is futile to believe that we can keep ‘Corexit rain’ from occurring since it has already been released and the molecular transformation has begun. We have set off an unprecedented chain of events in nature that we cannot control.

By releasing Pandora’s well from the depths and allowing it bleed into the sea the unimaginable becomes material.

Yet unlike a bad dream, we will not wake up from this nightmare and find it gone. The BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill will be touching millions of earth’s life forms for uncountable years.

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by Chantel K. Williams

	Male looks at Tgirl walking by.

How do you date a transgender woman? Are there certain “dos and don’ts” for asking a transgender girl out on a date? What should you say in the first e-mail? If you’re like most men, you probably met a transgender woman in either an ‘online’ chatroom, dating website, or social network. Along the way, you checked out her photo, profile, and common interests.

The key word is “common interests” and mutual compatibility. So, you fire-off a quick email. Yet, you failed to tell her what you are looking for in relationship or first meeting. Try to look at your first e-mail as a” business card.” It is a way of introducing yourself and exploring possibilities. Remember when you purchased that first greeting card for that special person…you took your time!

In your first email, try to include a brief description, common interests and contact information (i.e. phone, IM or website etc.). It is entirely up to you whether or not to send a picture on the first or second email. But, it is important to send a recent picture and not a photo of you ten years ago. It is not a good idea to sent nude, pet or ex girl friends pictures. One guy sent me an email that said, “We met at Scott’s party.” Don’t try to be too familiar and act like you know me. This approach will get your email deleted faster than telemarketer at dinner time!

Also, guys don’t ask for additional pictures, stupid questions or marriage proposals. The idea is to get to know the person and find out whether there is any chemistry or not. Don’t send an email with sexual overtones or suggestive comments. It implies that you are only interested in sex instead of trying to get to know the person. Below are some examples of good and bad emails:

“Hot male is seeking sexy Shemale in the Seattle area. Need a sexy Tranny for hot fun and adventurous encounters.”

It becomes annoying to be always treated like a sexual object or some piece of meat. If, sex is the main reason for dating a transgender women; there are plenty of websites offering various types of sex. In addition, it might be a good idea to use the right terminology. Some transgender women (i.e. transgender is an umbrella term covering crossdressers, transvestites, transsexuals, etc.) do not like being called tranny, he she, or shemale. Here is a different approach to the first email.

“Thanks for the note. I am 35, live in Montreal, and stand 6’1.” I am Information System Analyst. I do a lot of writing and reading (both for pleasure and work). Love to visit museums, art galleries and local beaches. A glass of red wine and a good movie is my way of unwinding after a long day. I am rather athletic and jog regularly to keep the mind free and fresh. What else to say… don’t want to brag too much. If and when you get time please do drop me a line or two. Looking forward to hearing from you. Take care.”

Melanie (left) and Alyssa (right) are Tgirls from the United States.

The email was brief and straight to the point without any overly romantic gestures. This person told me a little about his interests and it gave me some insights into his personality. Guys you want stand out in the crowd and at the same time don’t come off too cocky. Keep the email honest, brief, and to the point. There is no need to go into details about past relationships, painful divorces, or sexual fantasies. Never send the same message to other transgender women or “copy and paste” email from another message board. This is an absolute turn off.

Most transgender women are not interested in married men or men on the rebound. So, get your affairs in order and then decide what kind of relationship you want. What do transgender women want? We want the same things any other woman wants… We want a guy who is intelligent, attractive, witty and of course charming. In short, when asking a transgender girl for a date; it is important that you come off confident but not too over the top.

Ask transgender person a question about their interests or suggest a nice quiet restaurant. It might be fun to attend a yoga, aerobic, or cooking class together. Most importantly, try to be yourself, honest, and straightforward. Transgender women are not interested in someone who has “issues” and “drama” in their lives. Guys take the initiative to call or arrange a date… persistence counts. The worst thing a guy can do is to not return emails or phone calls. Remember the saying “make the first impression count” because most people place more emphasis on perception than reality.

About the writer:

Chantel is a novelist, essayist and writer living in Los Angeles. She describes a common thread in her work as “ a voice of passion existing within a fabric of diversity.” In 2003, Chantel participated in the on line chat following the presentation of Georgie’s Girl.” The PBS documentary featured Georgina Beyer who became the first transsexual legislator elected to the New Zealand Parliament. LINK

Her novel “Inside Straight” is schedule to come out in May of 2008. Chantel is co- founder of the Transgender Health Forum and a member of the Unity Fellowship Trans Men and Women Leadership Council. LINK

Transgendered Women online dating

by Liv

I guess you could break it down many ways, but generally speaking, they’re are 2 types of transsexuals.

Those with money and those without money.

YES $

Those with money, can easily and quickly complete transition with little or no requirements to work or deal with the social repercussions. They’re change is often complete and full, often with shocking, or uncanny belief by their friends. Their families come to accept the circumstances quicker, because obviously by the time it’s done you can’t go back. Once wealthy transsexuals complete transition, they disappear, assimilate into society and become as part of of the problem, as they once fought to overcome. Few if any attempt to help other transsexuals, and they have very inclination identifying with anyone gender variant because it’s a clue to their past lives.

NO $

On the other hand there’s people like myself. Broke, Poor… often taking years and years just to save for minor surgery, or electrology. The process is long and hard, and people don’t see the sudden change. It’s a gradual change which is less likely to make people accept the difference in gender. For those less fortunate then me, they face psychological, and physical injury by not having money for the appropriate health-care. We often fight for the rights of our sisters, but little can be done, because we are all a bunch of impoverished people society doesn’t give a crap about.

If we do at any point finish our transition, or even near the end we are either so darn old or so worn out from the advocacy over the year, we take a back-seat to the up-coming poor people.

No Problemo

In that lies the problem. If transsexuals don’t even care about each other, how can we expect the rest of America to do so? If those of us with money, skills, and capabilities to do so, don’t continue to influence the changing of laws, the promoting of our needs, and keep awareness alive, then we will be doomed to continue living the lives we do.

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by Katie VandenGerbil

This will probably be a somewhat odd post/question. I am M to F trans. I’ve been more or less full time for over three years. Right now I’m pre-op, non-op, I guess. I have a huge problem in both relationships and sexuality. My problem is at a basic level-an inability to experience either one.

I seem to have a complete inability to form relationships. I think I’m fairly well informed, maybe not unattractive, and I’ve been involved in a variety of groups and organizations.Most of the time I’ve thought of myself as attracted to women but I think now I am “bi”. I literally have not had a relationship, or even really a date, in over ten years. I have talked about this problem at length with two therapists (both very good). Neither one really knew why I was having this problem or had much advice to give me. I’ve also talked about this with other people, but no one had any advice. Admittedly there are times when I could have presented myself better. Also the organizations I have been involved with, while very accepting, may not have been the right places to meet people.Still I’ve been involved with a variety of groups, both activist oriented and purely social, over the past several years.

If I take care of my appearance I think I’m fairly attractive. People have told me this. I have a good sense of humor and like to goof around a lot. I’m somewhat cerebral and I’m a voracious reader, mostly history and political theory.

I have distinctly noticed that, while people are accepting and nice, no one’s attracted to me. At all. Something is going wrong and I don’t know what it is. I have a network of cool friends, mostly straight.

It is somewhat painful for me when friends or family members get married, or even have a relationship.Friends I’ve spoken with about this also didn’t know why I had this problem.

Sometimes people have said that I’m “trying too hard” but for the most part I’m not trying anything. I’ve posted stuff on line a few times but I’ve never gotten much of a response. A few times I thought there might be something and I’d have a brief email exchange, and then nothing.Its possible I come off as too needy at times, but I’m not really sure that’s the case either.

It is painful, sometimes very painful, always being alone.

I also have a problem with sexuality. This is probably connected with body dysmorphia. I am pre-op/non-op. I’m in my late 30s, I’ve never had sexual relations with anyone. This has not been by choice, I literally do not know how to have sex. This is probably a more complicated problem. I am a very sexual person, I’ve also talked about this at length with a transgender therapist, but she did not nave any advice or ideas for me. I’ve been ambiguous about surgery, but this may be an argument in favor of it.

I realize this may be an odd post. I seem to be a chronic case. I do know of other TG people who have relationships but this doesn’t seem like something which will ever happen for me.

Anyway I’d appreciate it if anyone had any advice, ideas, suggestions, or could point me to any good resources.

Internet site reference: LINK

Tgirls online dating

Special to The Canadian

Thank you for your “A Rock and a Hard Place” article, the only real attempt to grapple with the issues of disclosure I have found on the net. I would just like to run some thoughts past you.

For some years I have grappled with disclosure issues in relation to friends, lovers and potential dates. I have wondered about both ethics of disclosure and the practical consequences. Like you, I doubt there’s any clear-cut answer. Some days I feel so frustrated with the complexities that I feel like making an “I am a transsexual” t-shirt and wearing it everywhere to make life simpler.

The ethical questions are so complicated. On a basic level, of course it is the right thing to disclose. That way you live positively. There’s nothing to hide. It’s all out in the open.

There’s a bravado attitude out there that says “if anyone doesn’t accept it then they are not worth knowing” but it’s easier said than done. It’s all too glib for my liking. There are many, not terribly deep, interactions we have with people that help to make life enjoyable. So if it’s not absolutely essential to a relationship then why spill the beans and have some of those easy relations transformed into weirdness and suspicion? That’s the easy one.

For me, the real hassles come with people who are closer to you. When it comes to friends, non-disclosure usually places limits on a relationship. Once people feel that you can’t trust them with certain details of your life then the friendship soon finds its limits. I’ve especially found this problem with female friends. As a result, I have few female friends because you can’t get away with just talking about “stuff”. It’s not ideal but the alternative isn’t great either. As you say, we’re caught between a rock and a hard place.

The thing is, if you disclose, you tend to cease being a person who is fun to be with, of good character, having fascinating ideas or interests etc. You become just a “transsexual”. Full stop. “Oh? So-and-so? She’s a transsexual, did you know?”. Not “she’s really fun”. Not “she does so-and-so”. No, “She’s a transsexual”. She used to have a dick. I changed over to reduce the drama in my life and try to become a productive human being without a host of distractions about who and what I was etc etc and disclosing tends to defeat that aim.

When you disclose you are not actually saying that you are – for all practical means and purposes – a woman (who so happened to once have a male body and lived a male life). Instead you become a “transsexual”.

Since transsexualism is rarely of any consequence to most people’s lives, a “transsexual” is a caricature created by the media and urban myths. To some people “transsexuals” are she-males on porn sites. To others they are sexually predatory gender benders who hang around in the gay scene, tottering on their stilettos and sporting mini skirts while they look for trade. To others, they are crossdressers who lost the plot and probably have an issue with their mothers. And so on. Being a “transsexual”means havig one quality that totallyu swamps anything else you may be.

Usually, the only people who truly “get it” are those who have or have had a good TS friend and they will probably suspect you anyway, since they intuitively learn what combinations of androgynous aspects that are giveaways.

So when you tell someone that you’ve had a sex change, most people will immediately superimpose this caricature over the top of you. That is, the real you ceases to exist and they get the completely wrong idea of who and what you are, and all explanations tend to be seen with suspicion since it runs contrary to what they “know”.

In this context, which is more honest? To let people see you as you are today or let them get completely the wrong idea about you? You could even say that, by not disclosing, we are protecting people (and ourselves) from their misconceptions.

At the very least, it makes sense to me to hold off on disclosures as long as possible so the person gets a really good feel for who you really are. That way, you at least have a chance of overcoming “the caricature effect”. You both then have a better chance of keeping what is most likely a friendship that gives each person pleasure. Everybody wins, although as I said before, the “win” is mitigated by the potential loss of greater intimacy. If you go in too early and get rejected then everyone loses.

This brings me to the next issue. I ask myself, “Will this knowledge make the person any happier?”. Will it be a positive in their life? If not, why tell them? Personally, I find it hard to think long range, given life’s uncertainties, so I operate here in the short term. When I am having a conversation with a friend I would really prefer to just talk about regular things than have some drawn-out intense conversation about the intimate details of my life. Every time. Worse, in some circumstances, disclosure can come across as self-absorbed and attention-seeking. It’s so important to to be done right.

If you do decide to disclose, I like your idea of setting aside a special time and place to do it feels right. Not that I have done that in the past, but if I do, I’ll take your advice. I imagine my angle would be along the lines of “I really value your friendship and I feel like you should know something about me that I rarely tell people” (or something like that). I would only do this if I thought there was a VERY good chance of improving the friendship.

Many of the above issues probably hold true with relationships, except the stakes are higher. I used to have a rule that I wouldn’t say anything unless things start getting physical, and then I’d tell all. More than once a man who had given me the impression that he saw me as marriage material would go totally off me. It really hurts to go froma “ten” to a “one” in a matter of seconds.

There was one fellow, where the sparks were really flying, and on our third date we started carrying on a bit I felt I had to say something before it went too far. At first I just said that I had something I needed to tell him and asked him to guess what it was, just in case he already had suspicions. When he made some really dumb guesses I disclosed.

I can still see his eyes widen in horror. We were lying on his couch, our faces just a few inches apart. It was so sad. We talked for an hour but in the end, even though he said he needed time to think about it, it was clear that he couldn’t deal with my past in terms of a relationship. I was totally gutted and cried on and off for two days afterwards. Since our chemistry was so good and we had so many common interests we have been platonic friends for the past few years, but I still wonder if I’d held off for longer whether it would have made a difference.

Now I simply live for the day with no expectations. Make hay while the sun shines is my credo.

A male friend has recently decided to take our friendship to another level (with little resistance from me) and I have no intention of telling him. I think we’re both playing it fairly easy; more friends who are also lovers than having a relationship per se. He came out of a problematical divorce just 18 months ago and currently finds the idea of commitment as very off-putting. Light and easy suits me fine!

I have already needed to be evasive about a lot of family-type questions with him (I have a teenage son who is my “nephew”), but would disclosing make either of us any happier? Regardless of my past, those nice times happened and no disclosures since can take those times away from either of us. If I’d told him, I’m pretty sure he would have backed off and we would have missed out on those nice times.

Sure, if you wait before disclosing then some people might be angry that you for withholding that information. I have no fear of violence because I would never bother with anyone with any violent inclinations. So the issue for me is more about at least salvaging good relations, and that means trying to get the person to understand how difficult the issue is for you – especially with “the caricature effect” and being typecast as being a transsexual and nothing more – as well as the ethical dilemmas you have to wrestle with. All the stuff I’ve spoken about.

But it’s sooo gruelling! It’s not something I can easily do time and time again. Back when I was on a dating site a few years ago I got disclosure fatigue and ended up taking off my respectable ad on a respectable website and instead advertising “out” on an “adult” (ie. childish) dating website for casual play. I had so many repulsive messages it was painful! Still, I was lucky and found probably one of the few men on the site who wasn’t a creep and chose me for common interests rather than my “transness” (he hated it if I mentioned anything to do with it) and we went out for a couple of years.

In the end, if you go through all of the drama and hassle of disclosure and you still lose out after all that, then I suppose all you can do is accept that, on this occasion, Jerry Springer (and others who drive our reputations through the muck on the media) have won, lick your wounds, and move on when you can gather the emotional energy to go through it all over again.

Sorry for the soliloquy but I really want to nut these issues out and it seems that my views aren’t miles from yours. What do you think? Have I missed anything?

All the best and thanks for raising some real issues!

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by Jadis Argiope

Although the ratio is entirely absurd, the adage “Confidence is the key to passing” holds great truth. The fact is, you can be most un-passable superficially. But a few moments of conversation can convince any non-transsexual that you are as you present yourself, if you’re confidence is uncompromising.

I’ve seen this time and time again with especially late bloomers. Women who, at first, I must admit, I was taken aback at how unfortunate the roll of dice had been to them; only within moments to have that all erased from my mind as I sat down and talked with them. Bearing in mind that I am young, and still do feel awkward among groups of predominantly older transgendered women.

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