Matchmaking services for Transgendered Women – Totally free

Submit Transgender related Op Eds: editor-in-chief@lecanadian.com

Apply for a SEO Marketer Freelance Job: editor-in-chief@agoracosmopolitan.com

.

by Katie VandenGerbil

This will probably be a somewhat odd post/question. I am M to F trans. I’ve been more or less full time for over three years. Right now I’m pre-op, non-op, I guess. I have a huge problem in both relationships and sexuality. My problem is at a basic level-an inability to experience either one.

I seem to have a complete inability to form relationships. I think I’m fairly well informed, maybe not unattractive, and I’ve been involved in a variety of groups and organizations.Most of the time I’ve thought of myself as attracted to women but I think now I am “bi”. I literally have not had a relationship, or even really a date, in over ten years. I have talked about this problem at length with two therapists (both very good). Neither one really knew why I was having this problem or had much advice to give me. I’ve also talked about this with other people, but no one had any advice. Admittedly there are times when I could have presented myself better. Also the organizations I have been involved with, while very accepting, may not have been the right places to meet people.Still I’ve been involved with a variety of groups, both activist oriented and purely social, over the past several years.

If I take care of my appearance I think I’m fairly attractive. People have told me this. I have a good sense of humor and like to goof around a lot. I’m somewhat cerebral and I’m a voracious reader, mostly history and political theory.

I have distinctly noticed that, while people are accepting and nice, no one’s attracted to me. At all. Something is going wrong and I don’t know what it is. I have a network of cool friends, mostly straight.

It is somewhat painful for me when friends or family members get married, or even have a relationship.Friends I’ve spoken with about this also didn’t know why I had this problem.

Sometimes people have said that I’m “trying too hard” but for the most part I’m not trying anything. I’ve posted stuff on line a few times but I’ve never gotten much of a response. A few times I thought there might be something and I’d have a brief email exchange, and then nothing.Its possible I come off as too needy at times, but I’m not really sure that’s the case either.

It is painful, sometimes very painful, always being alone.

I also have a problem with sexuality. This is probably connected with body dysmorphia. I am pre-op/non-op. I’m in my late 30s, I’ve never had sexual relations with anyone. This has not been by choice, I literally do not know how to have sex. This is probably a more complicated problem. I am a very sexual person, I’ve also talked about this at length with a transgender therapist, but she did not nave any advice or ideas for me. I’ve been ambiguous about surgery, but this may be an argument in favor of it.

I realize this may be an odd post. I seem to be a chronic case. I do know of other TG people who have relationships but this doesn’t seem like something which will ever happen for me.

Anyway I’d appreciate it if anyone had any advice, ideas, suggestions, or could point me to any good resources.

Internet site reference: LINK